FAQ Sorting Out Romantic vs Sexual Emotions

By Teen Wellness Supply

Q I’m (M) in a relationship that is loving my boyfriend (M), but lately I’ve been experiencing drawn to a mutual friend (F). Now we don’t wish to have intercourse together with her (and we nevertheless want intercourse with my boyfriend), but personally i think like we may love her. Performs this mean I’m bisexual?

It is a question that is really common reach Teen Health supply, and there’s no body clear response we are able to provide. But let’s see when we can unpack a number of the stuff you’re mentioning right here.

Labels like “Straight” or “Bi” or “Gay” are pretty ways that are common generalize exactly how attraction works in a relationship, but as your question shows, they don’t constantly completely capture the nuances of how exactly we realize and function with our intimate and intimate tourist attractions towards individuals. Lots of people ch se to make clear distinctions between what kinds of individuals attract them emotionally and what forms of individuals turn them on sexually.

Now, you don’t state, but perchance you identify as homosexual (or homosexual), since you’re sexually interested in other males (your bf). Additionally, assuming that you’re romantically interested in the man you’re seeing and also emotions for the buddy, you might recognize to be biromantic. Biromantic will mean being romantically interested in folks of two genders. Now, if you’re romantically interested in a lot more than two genders, you might recognize as panromantic. L k at the base with this post for lots more terms and their definitions!

There are various other methods for being interested in individuals t . You’ll have a crush that is quick you are able to simply appreciate or respect them a g d deal, it is possible to simply see them being a dream (however in truth, dating them is a nightmare). There’s also aesthetic attraction, meaning appreciating someone’s l k in the manner you could appreciate a artwork or sculpture you love l master at them, however you don’t feel romantically or sexually drawn to them. We frequently just speak about attraction as intimate or non-sexual, but there’s a complete large amount of value in exploring and/or comprehending the reasons and ways we’re attracted to individuals.

We do wish to point out for you to identify with these labels without changing the shape or structure of your relationship that it’s possible. Like, you don’t want to alter any such thing like you identify as biromantic if you feel. If you’re monogamous and delighted using their boyfriend, you don’t suddenly need certainly to open it to incorporate this buddy. It is possible to determine an atmosphere that you’re having for the next individual without performing on it. (It’s also feasible to determine as bisexual or biromantic without doing any such thing intimate or romantic aided by the feminine buddy.) This does not always mean you like your spouse less. Thinking or fantasizing about taking place a night out together or sex that is having another person will not reduce your relationship.

Having said that, that you do need to explore, it’s worth talking to your partner first to make sure that you’re not crossing any of their boundaries if you think these are feelings. Changing the form of one’s relationship from monogamous to one thing more available needs a large amount of interaction. We’ll talk more info on available relationships in a future post, but also for now we’d recommend l king into Scarleteen’s awesome 3-part show about it

  • A Very First Polyamory Guide [Link]
  • I believe I’m Poly Just How Do I Initiate Start Relationships? [Link]
  • Relationship Structure and Troublesh ting Navigating Poly Relationships [Link]

But once more, we can’t inform you if you’re bisexual or biromantic. Just it is possible to say the method that you feel and just how you intend to comprehend the ways that are different drawn to individuals. But ideally this can help!



  • Homoromantic romantically drawn to members of the exact same sex as your own
  • Heteroromantic romantically attracted to people of a different sex to your own
  • Biromantic romantically drawn to people in a couple of genders
  • Panromantic romantically drawn to other people without sex being a problem
  • Aromantic not experiencing attraction that is romantic anybody


  • Homosexual intimately interested in people in the gender that is same your own
  • Heterosexual intimately interested in people in a gender that is different yours
  • Bisexual intimately drawn to people of a couple of genders
  • Pansexual sexually drawn to other people without sex being a problem
  • Asexual no intimate attraction to other people or perhaps a low/nonexistent intimate appetite

For lots more terms and definitions, you can examine away these glossaries

  • Teen Health Supply [Link]
  • Asexuality Archive [Link]
  • Forward the Right Message [Link]

For those who have questions regarding this topic, go ahead and contact one of your peer educators. [Link]

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